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Misadventures in dating

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I got everything from “are you looking for a good time *wink* *wink*” to “you know if you dropped 20lbs you would be perfect for me”. It was almost like trying to have a conversation twitter style –problem is we weren’t limited to 140 characters.

Maybe it is cause I read a lot but full sentences mean a lot to me. Now let me tell you about the ones that got to “exchange phone number” stage.

A couple of weeks ago, this guy (for this story we shall call him A) started looking at my profile, like every day, so I sent him a smile. We have been friends since childhood and have stayed in contact over the years.

We emailed back and forth for a couple of weeks, just getting to know each other. He posted a couple of pictures on facebook, and I want to comment, so badly, that he looks like a tool. He was a little condescending, but I was trying hard not to let it affect me.

From what I know about her experiences with online dating, that is an incredibly accurate description.

She’s the bridesmaid who trips walking down the aisle of her best friend’s wedding and manages to pick up a legitimate stalker from an online dating site (to the point where we – her friends- were begging her to make a police report and she finally changed her phone number all together).– Then there is C who is a therapist with commitment issues – her words, not mine.

She doesn’t follow the “rules” when it comes to online dating (will meet for dinner on the first date, will let him pick her up in his car, etc). A 27-year old divorced woman who spent the last 7 years of her life seriously dating (and marrying, and divorcing) one person.

I have a few friends that have been experimenting with online dating for varying periods of time, and they always have interesting stories.I know tons of people who have met their now significant others online.I know it works for certain people but I am pretty sure that is not me. Now everything is swipe left or right (and no I did not do Tinder) and very little browse to see.Also 2 of the sites ask very little information about who I am looking for OR much about me. That picture up top was my response to most of the interest I got. I appreciated that, though I would argue that last one didn’t need to be said–just swipe on by already.I am supposed to judge a person based solely on a picture and the fact that they fall in my age range? Most were total misses, not even closes, and out of the range of what I was looking for (aka you know where it would have been helpful to have search criteria). Then there were the ones that would start conversations that just seemed to go nowhere.I technically have about another month paid on the 3 (yes 3) sites I signed on too BUT I don’t think I have patience to keep at it.Internet Dating has changed a bit since last time I tried to meet a guy online.So I honestly have NEVER in my ENTIRE LIFE had an “official first date”. After perusing a few profiles, I quickly decided that I enjoyed the funny/witty/sarcastic profiles the most, so that’s the framework I decided to use in creating mine.I’ve had first dates with guys I’ve known and was interested in dating, but not like a this-is-a-first-date-where-I-am-going-to-learn-about-your-life-and-you-are-going-to-learn-about-mine-and-at-the-end-of-the-night-we-might-not-want-to-talk-to-each-other-ever-again. Under the section asking what I am currently doing with my life, I talk about rescuing arctic baby seals and helping with the unicorn re-population project on the weekends.Some of you might be thinking your mother is the worst person you could tell, insert dramatic voice. The sister, is married with a baby and thinks I should be married with a baby so we can do married and baby stuff together, so she is kind of…enthusiastic about the whole thing.Back to mother, she was just wanting a status update, but nothing really to report. She encouraged me to write back with facts about myself.