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Make sure the background is not distracting, because the main focus is you! Really own who you are and try to write something that isn’t on a million other profiles.

“Love to travel” or “Roses are my favorite” are nice, but could be attached to anyone.

Your profile picture is very important, so take some time to get a good one. Grab a friend, a camera, and find a spot to take a ton of photos. This is a chance for you to be creative show off your personality.

My love for you is like diarrhea, I just can't hold it in.15.

You must work at Subway, 'cause you just gave me a footlong 17.

To call men is to pursue them, which is totally against The Rules.

They will immediately know that you like them and possibly lose interest! So, if you don't want a man to know how much you like him, or that you feel empty and insecure don't call him.

You’ve been thinking for a while now that you should try online dating, but you aren’t sure where to start. If you can’t decide on just one, maybe start profiles on two or three dating sites. Plan to keep it for a while, because you want the guys to remember you.

Or simply review our list of the best dating sites, the only ones that you really need to know about. Pick your top photo (ask a guy friend for his opinion if you can’t decide) and make it your main profile photo.

What the hell are you supposed to say about yourself in your profile? [pagebreak] OUT-OF-TOWN AND OUT OF TOUCH The scenario: “A guy sent me a message saying that he wanted to meet up for a drink, but when I asked when he was free, he said he was ‘going out of town’ for the next two weeks and that we should schedule something after.” — Andrea, 31 The problem..the solution: If you tell a girl you’re “going out of town,” she’s going to assume you’re busy dating other women.

By the time your date comes around, she’ll already have lost interest or have found someone more attentive.

You must be 18 years or older to read these pick ups! How do you like your eggs: poached, scrambled, or fertilized? Your parents must be retarded, because you are special.3.

You hold your mouth open, and I'll give you the meat.5.