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I found writings that Ann made years ago and I think she’d hope they would find their way into print. I have relocated her now to an accepting part of my heart that comforts the memories and messages.It felt like all these years later, Ann was still orchestrating things. Without this pain, you’re lost and numb, following a path that leads you back to the same bench and the same screams, slightly muted maybe, a different day, all else untouched. She more than anyone has made me into the person I am today.She is a pastoral family counselor and has parented birth, step, adopted and foster children.She holds bachelor's degrees in English and history from Centenary College of Louisiana.

You may feel lost and stuck, uncomfortable making even the most minor of decisions.I think I needed some smooth waters to sail my boat on.I penned my words in, of all places, my dining room, on the same table Ann and I bought when we were first married.In particular, avoid over-reminiscing about your old life; it may make your new acquaintance feel excluded. You may long to clone your lost love, but it’s unlikely you’ll ever meet an exact replica of the one you were with. After all, the person you met at age 25 changed over a lifetime, and so did you.Now you’re in a different stage, with a redrawn horizon.In short, grant yourself the freedom to gravitate to a whole new kind of person. Visit a salon or barbershop and ask how you could best update your hairstyle. Everyone’s circle of close friends is necessarily limited, however, so mention your quest even to those you don’t know well.Seek out a clothing consultant or personal shopper — someone who can advise you on a flattering look and help you pick out items to achieve it. Research shows that many opportunities come through our “weak ties,” or people we know largely in passing: hairdresser, chiropractor, a neighbor’s visiting sister—even your seatmate on a flight! Most well-known dating sites have a large contingent of “seekers” in their 50s, 60s and 70s (and some in their 80s and even 90s), and several reputable sites are now completely free.Know that like a cut heals over time, emotional pain heals eventually, too.This is not to say that you won't have scars, but you can certainly live on.The same table she made things on, and at which the four of us enjoyed many great meals together.As I wrote, things seemed to fall into my lap, like phone calls from old friends at just the right time with more descriptive views of what happened.